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We do the chores when you're not looking
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in housegnomes' LiveJournal:

Wednesday, January 4th, 2006
3:48 pm
So we're looking at starting up the remodeling again, attacking the downstairs this time. I really wish I had some gnomes to help find a place for all the crap that needs to move. Oh, and to keep the house clean while tearing it up and scattering dust everywhere.
Friday, May 27th, 2005
11:06 am
Right now I wish I had a housegnome to move all the stuf I'm pulling out of two rooms. Better yet, the gnome would come with a hole in the universe where the stuff could be stored until we were ready to put it back.
Thursday, July 1st, 2004
11:24 am
The secret?
I think I have finally found the secret hideout of the housegnomes. At least, the ones in my house. They have a hidden doorway and it's opened by the phrase "just keep moving." If I don't sit down when I get home, and I have a list of things to do, they get done. My husband takes some tasks and completes them. It's wonderful. I have a task list that has more than 40 items on it, and it's sorted by dependencies. I'm using project management on my home. This is sad, but effective. And I'm much happier as a result.
Wednesday, April 14th, 2004
1:36 pm
My husband asked permission yesterday to run the dishwasher. In fact, it was more like he was making an observation to see if I would do something about it. The conversation went something like this:
Him: The dishwasher looks like it's getting pretty full. Maybe we should run it.
Me: Maybe you should do that then.

I wish he'd just run the dang thing. Make a sweep of the house for stray dishes, announce you're running the thing and just do it already!
Saturday, February 14th, 2004
10:12 am
After making a mess cooking the other day, my husband actually said that he was going to leave the dishes for the elves. So I made sure to leave them for him to do. :)
Saturday, January 31st, 2004
9:05 am
I've got this theory I'm working on and refining about why slovenly behavior doesn't bother some people. I think it has to do with the habit of doing chores and how it's developed. I know for a fact that my huband never had this habit developed in him, so there is no internal comparison point. He's never had something be really clean by his own power on a regular basis.

Sure, he may have done some of the chores as a kid but he really didn't do that much. And he never quite got around to putting away the clean clothes when he was on his own, there were just clean piles and dirty piles. He would clean the floor when his socks stuck to it.

I never did chores either, but then I had the cats eat everything that wasn't put away. When my husband mentioned that I like everything put behind closed doors to my parents, they didn't believe him. It certainly wasn't the way I was during high school. Or even college for that matter.

So maybe it's just a habit that needs time to develop. And a good wooden spoon for paddling when its neglected.
Tuesday, January 27th, 2004
10:04 am
The housegnomes are HERE! They're actually living in my house and whispering to Hubby. How do I know this?

Not only did he cook dinner last night, he roasted a chicken later in the evening for dinner tomorrow AND THEN stayed up til midnight making chicken soup out of the remains.

As if that wasn't miracle enough . . .*sniffle* he did the dishes afterward.

I love you, housegnomes.
Monday, January 26th, 2004
2:06 pm
The Secret
I have found the secret to making my husband a productive member of this household. It's not the most wonderful thing I've ever learned about him, but dang is it close.

There are several things that must combine to get him in the cleaning mode, but once he's there, he's extremely focused and productive. He needs 1) a list of chores to tell him what needs to be done and 2) for me to be cleaning also. I'm not real excited about the second requirement, but hey, he cleaned the inside of the medicine cabinet yesterday. So, progress.
Wednesday, January 21st, 2004
11:40 am
Fear and Loathing in My Kitchen
So I get home from work yesterday, already feeling inexplicably anxious. Just one of those contagious days in the hormone-mill, I guess. And I walk upstairs and look around.
A little backstory: for the last few days I've been doing a petty little experiment in the hopes that my husband will spontaneously grow a housegnome (or at least a pair of eyes). I've been not doing all the little things that my doppleganger housegnomes do on a regular basis, or even once in a while, thinking that my husband must eventually notice the rotting pile of trash and Christmas decorations that our house is becoming. Obviously, this didn't work, and in fact backfired. So now I can resume the story...

So I go upstairs and look around and see the Christmas decorations, Christmas party decorations (which was a week before Christmas), ghosts of dinners past and several bags of garbage that have yet to exit the premises, and I had a half-on panic attack. I'd say full-on, but that would indicate that I was too incapacitated to call my husband and gripe. But I was almost hyperventilating at the thought that the house would never be clean again and I was married to a wild boar.

Long story longer, I thawed some chicken, watched a Johnny Depp movie, and let my husband cook and clean when he got home. Needless to say, I'm feeling much better now. Only thing better would have been if Johnny Depp (or any other yummy actor) had come home and cooked and cleaned for me, instead of my husband. Ha! A girl can dream...

Current Mood: content
Tuesday, January 20th, 2004
3:51 pm
I thought of a few new interests for housegnomes. Slovenliness...frustration...husbands...neglect...

This is very therapeutic. Hey, there's another one.

Current Mood: creative
3:49 pm
Hey, what does the new crest say? My eyes aren't big enough.

Current Mood: squinty
2:43 pm
I'm not sure what happened, but it appears that the hubster has discovered that the housegnomes he used to believe in are on the order of the tooth fairy. He actually cleaned yesterday while I was at an interview. Wacky.

Also, thanks wyliekat for the crest. It's great.

Current Mood: amazed
Monday, January 19th, 2004
9:34 am
I just saw the most perfect thing on an old episode of Roseanne. Dan walked into the kitchen and took an extremely expired carton of milk out (the expiredness was established earlier in the episode by another character who for some reason still put it back in the fridge) and drank directly from the carton. He started having convulsions and twitching all over the kitchen, writhing on the floor and practically gagging up an intestine. In his pain and eye-watering strain, he managed to close the carton, drag himself over to the fridge, and put the expired milk back in the fridge before collapsing on the floor.

So perfect. Dan is such a man.

Current Mood: giggly
Saturday, January 17th, 2004
9:21 pm
Hate to one-up y'all, but a picture is worth a thousand words
This is my husband's home office. Our deal is that he can keep it however he wants it. This then, is how he wants it. I live in constant and unremitting fear for the rest of our home. I suspect, but cannot prove, that this is the reason our housegnomes have been on permanent strike. Without furth ado, I present:

Read more...Collapse )
10:21 am
You know what I really wish the house gnomes would do? I wish they would clean up after my husband when he shaves over the bathroom sink and NEVER cleans up the little hair clippies, because I know my husband would never do such a thing. I've nagged and begged and threatened, but it's like his mind shuts off when the electric razor shuts off. It's so gross! How can a person with eyes possibly leave a bathroom with a layer of hair in the sink? And the one time he's actually cleaned it up (because I was standing next to him giving him the evil eye), he just WASHED IT DOWN THE DRAIN!!! Ack. Apparently some people aren't aware of the concept of clogged drains. In particular, men people. In even more particular, my husband men people.

I trimmed my hair this morning, and like a sane person, I deposited the hair in the GARBAGE. Fascinating concept.

And the funny (and by funny I mean annoying) thing is, he gets on my case when I don't properly clean the hair out of the shower drain every time I take a shower. JEEZ! It's not like I'm a yeti shedding two pounds of hair a day!

Okay, I'm done capitalizing now. And I'm done talking about icky hair stuff.
Friday, January 16th, 2004
7:19 am
Now that the unfun parts are out of the way...

My "kid at heart" husband and I have discovered that we have very different versions of clean. Mine comes from trying to avoid having the cats eat everything in sight and his is from years of bachelorhood. So we (meaning I) have made up a chore list. It's a bunch of stuff that needs to be done every 2 weeks. The plan was to do one chore a day each and get all this stuff done easily. The tasks are all pretty short.

The problem is that there's no routine, so the chores don't get done. In fact, the list just got printed last week. Its still sitting on the printer.
7:16 am
It's amazing what clothes you can find in the back of your closet, and how well some of them almost fit, when your housegnomes haven't done the laundry in a while.

Current Mood: groggy
7:13 am
Moderator notes
Just because its best to get the ground rules down early.

  • Stay on topic.

  • No flaming please.

  • And play nice.

4:32 am
i recommend to everyone freaken human alive.
Drink More GREEN TEA For your body,,, it taste great cold or hot doesnt need sugar unless your an addict.

and well try YOGI TEA, Green Tea with KOMBUCHA, its organic (ahh:) and it supports your immune and aids with digetive functions.
I hope everyones health totally improves and there lifes do as well.

oh and collidal siliver i totaly recommend it to clear up any infection from foot root,to face, or crotch rot.

collidal silver rocks!

Oh this is my New years advice to friends.. im agro Sorry. LOl

oh this is my first post this community rocks my ass...
Thursday, January 15th, 2004
12:19 pm
Inaugural post!
Welcome to housegnomes! This is a new place for those of us who are under-appreciated by those we love for all the work we do. No, there are no housegnomes that get the chores done. Some day, we may invent them. Anybody got a cloning machine?
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